your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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