Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
