God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
