I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
