His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize