Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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