i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
