Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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