Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
