Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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