I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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