I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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