Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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