Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
