Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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