Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
