Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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