I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
