Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
