I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
