The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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