:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
