HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
