She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How does one acquire holy water?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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