How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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