i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
