I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
