He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
