i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
