I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
