I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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