i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
