I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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