i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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