Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
