Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
