got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
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So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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