Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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