My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I love you. Go after that dick
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
