I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
