I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
