Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
