If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize