yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
