When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
