you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
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Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
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there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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