Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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