i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
