plz talk dirty to me
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
