6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
