I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
