thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i now understand why vodka
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
