i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
