I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
