There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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