so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
