I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
