but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
