Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
