**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
