I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I know her cup size but not her name....
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